


Drag Me Underneath.

by troubledsouls



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Suicide Attempt, Well - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 02:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6220579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubledsouls/pseuds/troubledsouls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh thinks Tyler hates him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drag Me Underneath.

**Author's Note:**

> Might continue this, might not.

Josh feels something constrict around his neck, fill up his throat, slow his breathing. 

He knows there's nothing there, but he feels like he's drowning and he can't swim for the surface. 

He doesn't know if it's a panic attack. The last time he had a panic attack was a few weeks ago. He doesn't even know if it was a proper panic attack. 

He wish he could just say he had one and be done with it. 

He forces air into his lungs and looks up from where he twists a paper clip in his hands to the wall opposite him. 

It's bare, just like every wall in his room. 

He hasn't left his room in days except to get food and water. He's just sitting there, messing on his phone, sometimes staring at the wall or ceiling. 

Red marks litter his left forearm from where he's been scratching at it with the end of the paper clip. 

His self harm has never been pretty razors and red lines, its always been torn up skin and indents and taking too long to see blood. 

He wants to be normal. 

Self harm isn't normal, so he settles on wants to be pretty. 

Tyler hasn't texted him in days. He's probably busy, or maybe he's forgotten about Josh and found a new drummer. Tyler has Jenna and enough money to sustain him for the rest of his life. He doesn't need Josh or the band anymore. 

Josh scratches at his tattoo of Tyler's name through his jeans. He hasn't bothered to take his clothes off to sleep. Or at any time, really. 

Dustin isn't worried about him, because since when has Dustin cared about anything Josh does unless it's for Dustin’s own benefit. 

He checks his phone. He hasn't bothered to reply to Tyler's last text. Maybe that's why Tyler isn't talking to him. Maybe Tyler just stopped caring. 

Josh could die, and Tyler wouldn't even care. 

In a half-daze he gets up, shoving his phone deep into his pocket, and wanders into the bathroom. He isn't sure if Dustin is in the apartment. He doesn't care. 

He finds Dustin’s box of razor blades and picks one out, then sits in the bathtub. 

He doesn't want to leave a mess, but maybe it'll make Tyler feel bad for abandoning him. 

He's slit from his wrist to his elbow and is watching the blood trickle out, thinking that he should do again, this time deeper, when his phone rings. 

He drops the razor and answers it.

“Josh?”

Static fills his ears. 

“You didn't respond to my text. I'm so sorry, my phones been dead and and I've had no time to charge it, Jenna's been dragging me everywhere.”

He stares at the blood flowing from his slit-open forearm. 

“Josh, are you okay?”

“Tyler, I…” Words catch in his throat. 

“Josh?” There's worry in Tyler's voice, and Josh wants to be dead dead dead. 

“I did something stupid.” Josh's hands are shaking so hard. He wedges the phone in between his shoulder and his ear and picks up the razor again. 

“Josh…”

“And I didn't even think to write anything, I just… You hate me. All I do is hurt you.” He runs the razor through the cut again. More blood comes out. 

“ _Josh!_ Josh is Dustin there you have to go to the hospital right now.” Tyler picks up on what Josh is doing immediately. 

Josh drops the bloodied razor. A sob wells up in his throat. “I can't.” He's going to die. 

“Josh, I'm going to give the phone to Jenna and I'm going to call 911 and tell them where you are.” There's silence on the line except for Tyler’s distant yelling for Jenna. 

“Hello.” It's Jenna's soft voice, slightly shaky. 

“Jenna, tell Tyler I'm sorry.” Josh wants to split open his other arm, but everything's too fizzy and there's static in his ears and blood. So much blood. 

“You can tell him yourself. You're going to be alright, Josh.” Jenna's calming Josh down, but only slightly. 

“I cut open my tattoo.” Josh confesses. 

“Okay.” Jenna's voice seems so sad. “Alright Josh, is the apartment locked?”

“No.”

“And where are you?”

“In the bathroom.”

“Okay, Josh. There are people coming for you.”

“I don't want them to.” The static in his ears almost drowns everything out. He closes his eyes. 

“Josh? Josh, are you still with me?” It's Tyler's voice. 

Josh nods, forgetting that Tyler can't see him. 

“You'll be okay, Josh.”

Josh relaxes, and the phone falls away from his ear. 

He can hear sirens, then footsteps. 

Someone's picking him up, and then his vision goes dark.

**Author's Note:**

> (Shrug emoji)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Is That Blood Mine or Yours?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6260419) by [marsakat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marsakat/pseuds/marsakat)




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